Paradise

In Mexico, Monday the 19th was a national holiday to celebrate the Revolution. So I got it off. Thursday is Thanksgiving, so I got that off too… When 3 days of vacation buys 9 days in a row off, you need to find something to do. We headed to the beach. I was able to find a perfect house on a beach near Ixtapa for $200 a night.

We pulled into a lovely, almost Japanese, garden area complete with a tropical twist. The house is surrounded by a garden with hammocks hanging on palm trees. About 10 steps from the back porch is a little wooden gate leading to the beach. To the right are rocks with tide pools waiting to be explored. To the left a great sandy beach with slow breaking waves. The whole family loves to Boogie Board and this is a beach perfect for it. Paradise. We meet our host and learn the rules, ins and outs, and other trivia. I thought to myself what a perfect life. Live and work where you hear the sound of the surf, always. The salty breeze and the warm inviting waters your constant companions. That would be paradise.

Later, we are playing in that surf having the time of our lives. I tow the kids out to catch another wave, a nice service if you can get it. The kids have all the fun of surfing with none of the work. Then we play in the sand, check the tide pools, and have a quick lunch at the house. I have been working a lot lately so it is so nice to spend so much time with the kids.

After a little while, I strike up a conversation with our host. She has lived here for 15 years but never goes in the water. She spends most of her time working, managing properties, and taking care of the guests. She is single, has a boyfriend and no kids.

Even for a block like me it didn't take long to understand. This isn't paradise, it is a place. Even more it is a place that money can rent time in. If you can buy it, it won't satisfy for long. Paradise isn't a place. I have my kids, my wife, my life. We can come visit the surf and be happy. At the end of the week, we all want to go home. I already live in paradise, we are just visiting the beach.

Death Has a Holiday

As I have written before, the Mexican people have an interesting take on death. In keeping with that, we recently celebrated the Dia de los Muertos, literally the Day of the Dead. While that may sound somber to us it is really a festive occasion. They have skulls made from sugar to give to family and friends. As a joke, you have someone’s name put on a skull and then give it to them to eat. Or the skulls are placed at the grave of a dearly departed so they can enjoy it.

Another part of this is a party at the cemetery. To this there are two different lines of thinking.

Most of the people we talk to about this, view the time a time to remember their departed friends and relatives. They go to the gravesite, clean up the area, spread some flowers, maybe bring some of their favorite food or beverage and talk about them. They then have a party in their honor. I think of it as a kind of yearly wake, New Orleans style. Now remember all of this is happening at the gravesite and can last until 3 or 4 in the morning. The grave decorations can be quite elaborate.
In this case all of the color you see are fresh flowers or flower petalsThe more simple folk do the same activities but believe their dearly departed leave the grave at the sound of the first church bell after dark and party with them. So they bring food and drink, clean the grave and party, thinking the relative is there to enjoy it. It is hard to overestimate how much mysticism is a part of the rural poor’s belief systems.

We went to Puebla for the festivities, great town, very pretty. After we returned to Mexico City, I took a ride to the graveyard for some pictures.

Now I have to admit that I like going to graveyards on occasion. For me it is a good way to be reminded of our temporal nature. Graves can tell stories. They can also tell a lot about the person or family buried there. There can be some real ego here... This poor woman is forever morning someone who won't even look at her. He is peering off into what future, one cannot be sure.

This guy also obviously thought he would make some kind of statement with the award for most interesting tombstone. Looks like some kind of superhero

The retro modern award goes to this one with an honorary mention to the next...

But what was most striking to me in this trip is how treatment in life so closely models life. In the area for the rich, powerful and famous; there is great landscaping, meticulous care, and great monuments to vanity and ego. For some of the rest, the family carries on and remembers. But for the vast majority, no one came to remember. It is easy to see trends, the longer you are dead and the older you were when you dies, the more likely you are to be forgotten. This is the grave of a recently departed young child... Obviously the pain is still fresh. No money for a tombstone but someone still cared to plant flowers and smooth the site.

This one is just one of many forgotten... next to one that has been cared for. If there is one word to describe Mexico it is contrast, rich and poor, loved and forgotten, pampered and ignored.My favorite is this one. Old Dad is gone. The kids didn't bring bread or flowers, just a shot of tequila. Probably what Dad would have wanted... is this how you would want to be remembered?

For me the Day of the Dead was a good reminder of where we all end up. At the end of the day, most of us will not be rich or famous or even remembered here on earth past a generation or two. All our work and labors will be forgotten a month or two after we leave the job. Our house will be sold or demolished. Our cars will rust. Our precious toys will break and be disgarded and so will we. We will be forgotten and even the markers of our graves will not live on forever. We are here but for a moment.

Only one record will remain and only one will remember us for all time. And it is only the things we do to honor Him that will remain after this life is over. This is a good reminder not to be ruled by the tyranny of the urgent and to invest in the things that last.

An Interesting Twist

In most of my experiences down here I have tried to take a positive tone. There is a lot that I just shake my head at or moan in frustration. However, when I share my thoughts or talk with others I try to stay on the positive side and see things from the other perspective. Sorry but this time the gloves come off.

As some of you know, I am married to a Mexican. Stacey was born in Mexico and by Mexican law she is a Mexican. As an additional bonus, in 1999, Mexico passed a law allowing dual citizenship, so my children are, by Mexican Law, also Mexicans. Now we have really grown to enjoy and even love Mexico. The beauty, the people, and the culture are all quite endearing. With that in mind we thought it would be a good idea to get our children Mexican passports to give them flexibility later in life to start a business, get an education, or even live in Mexico.

After 3 months of questions, paperwork, and run around we were finally ready to get the passports. We went to the office, were sent to another office, and then told we needed to go to a consulate office in the US to become Mexican citizens…

So let me get this strait… My children need to go to Mexican soil in the US to become Mexicans… when they have the legal right under MEXICAN LAW…

All of this has caused me to view/vent about the current immigration debate in the US under a new light.

In Mexico, I cannot get a driver’s license unless I have a visa and am here legally.
In Mexico, I cannot work without a valid visa.
IN MEXICO, I cannot get medical services at the state’s expense, even WITH a work visa.
IN MEXICO, I cannot go to the University and without paying an extra extranero (foreigner) fee.
AND IN MEXICO, I cannot apply for legal status as a Mexican, even if legal, without going back to the US!!!

Does any of this sound familiar… Please don’t misunderstand, I have a great deal of sympathy for Mexican workers trying to feed their families and do work in the US that many in the US don’t want to do. But would it be wrong to suggest that the US apply the same standard to illegal workers in the US that Mexicans apply to all workers in Mexico… Just a thought.

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